Germ Pits

Those are the two words that run though my paranoid mommy head every time we arrive at a party location that has one of these things. Last week was no exception but unfortunately, I ignored that little voice in my head and let the DD play away. Actually both kids pulled a switcheroo on me. Ethan was the one who was quietly playing with his friends in the play kitchen area of the location and Katie Starr decided to be the Indiana Jones of the party and kept diving into the foam pit. Seriously, she was in and out of that thing for the full 90 minutes we were in that room. About an hour into it, she came over to me because she wanted to give me a hug and I saw that her eyes were very irritated. I asked her to slow down a bit but before I could say "Please" she was off and running again. I hate to squelch these opportunities as she is not normally that adventurous and I think it is great when she starts to relax a little in these situations.

A little bit later, the party attendants called all of the party goers into the party room for Pizza and Cake. After locating and gathering the DD up, I started to hear that Katie was coughing. By the time that we got into the room she was having a full blown coughing and wheezing attack. It was so bad that Katie could hardly catch her breath, so I bid the hostess and birthday boy a hasty adieu and off we went so that I could get Katie something to relieve these symptoms. The whole way home she continued with the harsh coughing. We got home and I performed some of my mommy hocus pocus on her and the cough subsided. By the time she went to bed she was just fine. I immediately drew a correlation between the coughing and the foam pit. For the next few days, the only time that she would cough was sporadically at night and when she ran around too much during the day. She had no fever and no other symptoms...not even a runny nose.

Finally, last night she awoke at 4:00 AM and was coughing and choking again. She did this for about an hour and a half. I actually thought she was going to vomit from all of the coughing. It happened again on the Playground at school earlier today. We decided to take Katie to see her doctor. The doctor examined her carefully. She must have listened to her lungs for 7-10 minutes. After listening to my story of how this had all started, she said that this was definitely caused by the foam pit. It was not that she got sick from the germs right away but that the mold and dust that live in the foam and are stirred up by the movement, had irritated her lungs. Katie definitely has a predisposition to lung issues, especially since her bout with Pneumonia this past May.

She warned me to keep her away from the pits and other similar things that may irritate her lungs. She has put her on Albuterol Syrup, which is a medicine that deals with airway spasms. We just now left her room for the third or fourth time since she went to bed to rub her back and comfort her as the coughing so severely. I pray that she falls asleep soon so that she can get some rest.

Listen to your mama gut...it is usually right. I wish that I had this past Saturday.

She's Back!

I actually just asked Marc if he could blog again tonight as I am neck deep in doo doo and I can't seem to find my way out. He said yes and then he laughed and told me that he was joking @*!?!%#!! That is not funny! I am thankful he took over last night as I did not get home until very late after a meeting but honestly today makes yesterday pale in comparison. Like I said, I am neck deep in paperwork from issues arising out of the closing of our business. I was also trying to conduct new business, take care of the DD and then tonight, handle three PTO related projects from both kids schools. I still need to wash my hair and it is 10:00. So of course, what else would I do at 10:00 when I should be washing my hair....blogging!!

Thanks to those who came forward and commented. It was so nice to read comments from some new friends.

To Andrea "Tweeters" ~ Thank you for following my blog. No, following it and not commenting does NOT make you creepy! I actually follow a few that I do not comment on as well ;-) I hope that you comment more now and I will definitely look at your blog later tonight after I wash my hair and long after my husband is snoring next to me!

To Gina ~ I loved that T-Shirt and also that you thought of my DD when you saw it! It actually gave me the brainstorm to design my own DD T-Shirt for my DD :) Thank you for following my blog for so long and thank you for telling me that!!

Monica, my sweet friend....I will never tell!!! Bwaahahaha!

To Kate ~ Love to hear that you have been following me and I will follow your journey as well. Whenever I see someone from across the pond come on to my blog, I am always that much more curious to know who they are so I am really glad that you spoke up!!

Dawn ~ I am glad that you enjoyed Marc's response to your question!! He is a keeper isn't he! So is your Jacob, we sure are lucky women!

Vivian ~ I have about half of my shopping done. Things that I have had for awhile. They are both pretty easy right now. With Katie, anything Barbie, Princess or Art related is the ticket. She also needs a bigger bike. The mischief man is all about cars, trains and Leggos. Justin, on the other hand is always my quandary; especially now that I know longer get a list..Judy does :)

Samantha and Woody ~ I hear ya about the feed checker. I so love getting those comments. I know that the DD will love them someday too. Thanks for hanging with me :)

Mary McG ~ You are so faithful to my blog even when I am not. Thank you! BTW, I love that idea about the bouncy ball and I will get one for both members of the Dynamic Duo!

Strange that so many of my regular peeps did not comment. There is still time though! ;-)

Hugs to all of you wonderful ladies. I have a crazy busy weekend but I will be true to my word and post each day. Sending love to all of you!

Until tomorrow...

The DH steps in.....

In baseball, the “DH” stands for “Designated Hitter”, a player who doesn’t play defense on the field but plays offense and only comes to bat, usually for the pitcher. In the world of adoption lingo the “DH” stands for “Dear Husband.” Tonight I am playing both roles for my “DW” (Dear Wife) as I step in to bat for my wife and give her a night off from her usual duties of recording the happenings of our lives in this blog. So, here I am for only the second time since the beginning of Lori’s magnificent journey of recording the life and times of our family. The first time I stepped to the plate was in China, to relief my exhausted wife, who just traveled half way around the world by plane and she isn’t the most comfortable on a plane, then experiencing the life changing event of receiving Ethan who was in so much need of love and caring. Being the kind of guy who just handles whatever is thrown at me (for better or worse) I wasn’t quite up to speed with the caring of a grieving baby, I was just following along. For that reason it wasn’t as draining for me as it was for Lori. But I digress off my point, I had to fill in that night because we had so many people back at home in the US who were hanging on every little tidbit of information that we were able to get out of China and into the hearts of our friends and family back home. It was fun to be part of the “blog” thing and describe our experience in China. Tonight however I am now rethinking my promise to Lori about stepping in but I am a man of my word. So bear with me as I answer one of the questions asked by one of you last night at Lori’s request for post ideas.

Lori and I met on the Internet… not on a dating site but while Lori was shopping for a DJ for her upcoming holiday party at work and performed a search for one in the nearby area. This lead her to me and after a pleasant conversation about my services as a DJ, we realized we had a mutual friend in common, who was a childhood friend of mine from NJ now living in the same town as me in Florida, and was also someone that Lori had dated. We made a “date” to meet each other at a local nightclub to see where this conversation could go. This is where the first problem of the night arose. There I was waiting to meet a blind date and all I had to go on was a picture of Lori that she had sent to me of her and her sister. After what seemed like a lifetime, a woman stepped out of the club and looked around the parking lot as if she too was looking for someone. I quietly asked “Are you Lori?, she smirked and said “No, I’m not but I guess you’re here on a blind date” and I told her I was. Now I went back to waiting, now thinking that she stood me up (not the first time this had happened to me on a blind date, but that story will stay with me.) Thinking it was time to call it quits, my cell phone rang and there was Lori on the other end asking me where I was and did I stand her up? I told her that I was standing at the entrance to the club that I had been to many times before and I didn’t see her. She said she was also standing at the entrance and that she had been here many times before and this is where she entered. I said that I was under the blue lights that say the name of the club, and she said she was too! Now I am becoming paranoid thinking she in a car with friends watching me and having a good laugh at this poor soul waiting to meet her. As I started to pace the sidewalk talking to Lori on the other end, I turned the corner of the sidewalk and low and behold there was another entrance to the club and Lori talking to me on the phone; this gave us both a good laugh and now the date could start. We went inside after laughing for a few minutes and were seated at a table so that we (or I could have something to eat as I just came from a gig). Problem number two was about to start. I ordered Fried Ravioli and Lori ordered a diet coke. As I took the first bite, hot molten cheese shot out and landed on Lori’s arm and let me tell you in was hot as I could barely eat it. Being the cool calm girl that Lori is, she just wiped it off and went on with the conversation as if nothing happened, boy is she a trooper. This actually happened not once but twice! After apologizing a few times we went on. Problem three was lurking nearby as the woman that I had first asked outside if she was Lori was seated right behind Lori and now leaned into our booth to ask Lori how the blind date was going and she was glad to see we finally found each other outside. As the night progressed our unwanted guest kept asking how things were going and to my pleasure Lori would say “great.” So to make this long story short, Lori didn’t have a holiday party with a DJ that year and it wasn’t until we were in a relationship that I got the chance to perform at her party. As you all know this story has a happy ending (well actually it’s only in the middle), we have a great family and friends that we wouldn’t trade for the world.

In closing of this temporary bump in the smooth road, I want to publicly say to Lori how much I love her and appreciate the hard work and patience that goes into the making of this blog and that I know how much her children will treasure this valuable and heartfelt gift. I apologize to you the reader for tuning in tonight and realizing that an amateur had stepped in to bat for the homerun hitter.

Lori will return to her regularly scheduled writing tomorrow.

This is a picture that I took of Lori soon after we began dating. I dedicate this post to my beautiful wife.

This is feeling a bit like a job and unfortunately there is no pay!

I made the commitment to blog daily for National Blog Posting Month, but man oh man, it is not easy! Today, I feel like I have hit a bit of a dry spell, so if any of my wonderful readers would like to ask me a question or even suggest a topic, I would so appreciate it. It would give me a little fuel to keep going and fulfill my promise.

C'mon friends, help a fellow blogger out! I promise as long as the question or topic is not out of bounds, I promise to respond.

One more thing friends, I get about 250 hits a day and so I would love to hear from those who do not normally comment in addition to my loyal supporters.

Nothing worse than a sick child

It was a slow news day around here at "Stress Central." The big news story was that Katie Starr was really sick last night with severe vomiting and coughing; no fever though thank goodness. By this morning she seemed to be just fine. With all of the talk of H1N1, I am pretty fearful of every symptom that rears it's ugly head. Katie was vaccinated last Thursday but it takes weeks to take any effect and she gets her booster in a month. Ethan gets his shot this week in school.

I am sure that all of the parents that read this blog can relate to the fact that there is nothing, absolutely, positively nothing worse than when one of our children is sick. Especially when they are very sick.

Justin was a pretty sickly young child and it took several sets of ear tubes, his adenoids out twice and finally his tonsils removed before things improved, although his ears will always remain his weak spot. When he was sick he always spiked crazy high temps and did so for long periods of time. Once he hovered aound 105 for almost a week...it was horrible.

With my DD, it is Katie that scares us the most and that is so weird considering that Ethan has repaired congenital heart defects and an underdeveloped trachea. Strangely, he is the one that can throw off things much easier than our Starr who can go from zero to 60 in no time flat on the sickness race track. One moment she is fine and the next she is scaring the you know what out of us. Since her bout with Pneumonia last May, I am even more petrified. None of the kiddos have every scared me to that extent.

If one wish could be granted to me it would be that my children never had another ill day for the rest of their lives. Pretty much a long shot but hey, it's my fantasy and a girl can dream, can't she?

In the meantime, I will use all of my mama hocus pocus and pull out all the stops to make them feel better when they are down and try my best to avoid it happening in the first place.

Ethan's Red Couch Photo - Kinda!

I wanted to show you Ethan's red couch photo since I posted Katie's yesterday. This is not the one that I wanted to show you but I am having a hard time finding the one that I really like. My hard drive crashed sometime back and I lost it on that. I did have a copy on a disc but with all of the mess from my closed business in my home office, I am having a hard time putting my hands on it.

I will look again tomorrow for the one that I have of the newly formed Dynamic Duo on the red couch all by themselves.



Katie is not feeling well tonight (vomiting and bad coughing). She just fell asleep so I am heading to sleep as well. It may be a looong night :(

A beautiful gift

Let me give you the background story to the story about the beautiful gift that we received this past week. It all centers around "The Red Couch" in The White Swan Hotel in China. Most adoptive families stay at this beautiful hotel on Shamian Island while they are completing all of the necessary steps and paperwork needed for the United States to allow their child to leave China and head home to the US. A day or two before you leave, you get together with your group if you are with one and by yourself if you are not and take a picture of all the children on the Red Couch. There are actually several red couches in the hotel lobby so any one of them will do. Even if you do not stay at this hotel you will most likely have made your way to the hotel to get this picture taken. It is one of the China Adoption rites of passage. I will not generalize but 99.99% of us have a picture like this.



As you can see, none of the children in Katie's travel group look that pleased to be on the red couch; certainly not as pleased as their parents were who have placed them there. Our picture was even crazier than most as there is not a dry eye in the house. All of these wonderful children are Katie's Gansu sisters and they all are very special to us. If you cannot tell, Katie is the one on the top row to the far left.

So now on to the beautiful gift. Marc's cousin, Nina is an artist. Way back, just after we adopted Katie, she saw our photo and was very taken with it. She asked us if she could borrow it as she might like to paint it. We were thrilled at the prospect and of course handed it right over.

Nina did end up painting the picture and then she began showing it in galleries and shows around where she lives in the NYC metro area. We were happy that others would get to see this picture but secretly hoped that someday it would be ours. We were overjoyed and completely taken aback this past week when this tremendous surprise came in the mail for us; the painting of our red couch photo!!



We love her interpretation of it. She had told us at first that she had made the red couch another color, not realizing it's significance but she was set straight by adoptive families that viewed it and changed it to the red color. She has taken artistic license with some of the details but we totally LOVE it!! It means so much to us. Of course, my picture cannot do it justice as I took it tonight with poor lighting but you get the wonderful idea.

Thank you Cousin Nina from the bottom of our hearts; what a meaningful gift you have given to us!

We are all card carrying members now...

at our public library. This was a big deal, I would like you to know. I was absolutely petrified of taking my mischief man into the library with all of it's wonderful quietness. Anyone who knows our mischief man knows that he is a "loud talker" of epic proportions. He has not yet mastered the art of the "inside voice," so I have avoided the library like the plague. Katie has been there before for children's programs but we had not gotten her a library card yet, as she takes out books each week at her school library and we have so many at home. The DD are also like night and day when it comes to their volume control. Katie is a "low talker." She speak so lightly sometimes that I have to ask her to repeat herself. I laughed the other day when she told me that one of the more soft spoken girls in her class speaks too softly. I told her that was the pot calling the kettle black, obviously a figure of speech lost on her but I still had to say it.

I am not sure what came over me today but I decided that this was the day that we were going to take our Dynamic Duo to our local library. I guess I was feeling a little more adventurous than usual or maybe I am becoming desensitized to Ethan's antics but whatever the reason, it was time! I told my family that this afternoon after school, we would be going and they seemed pretty excited. Well, Marc did not seem that excited but the kids did ;-)

On the drive over, I reinforced the rules of the library, topping the list was keeping zipped lips but if they needed to speak, then to speak in a very low "inside voice," kind of like a whisper and then I whispered to them for the rest of the ride to display the desired behavior. Now, I do realize that low talking is just fine but I need to reinforce this to the max for the E-man and his partner in crime the low talker.

We entered the library and split up from Marc who volunteered to fill out the paperwork for the cards (pretty slick of him) and I took the DD to the youth section. They began to search and did an awesome job finding books to bring home, all while being relatively quiet. We then sat down to look at the books and wait for Daddy to find us. He walked past us without seeing us at first and Mr E was so adorable as he whispered, D A D D Y...we are over H E R E!!!! We reunited and began to look at the DVD's together. Who knew!!! It has been so long since I have been in a library that I has no idea that you could take children's videos out....so cool! The pickings were a bit slim but no matter, we still found four to take home. Things got a little louder during that process but we moved on before the S hit the fan.

Marc told me that the kids had to sign the card in the presence of the librarian....huh?!? Four year old's need to have their scribble scrabble siggies witnessed?!? Marc looked thoroughly disgusted at the stupidity of that rule but we needed to comply, so we did. The paperwork and the cards took a bit of time. Time was becoming our enemy at that point as Ethan decided that he had been quiet long enough and started to get louder and more antsy. I corralled them into some chairs while I waited for Daddy to signal me over for the siggies, which took another few minutes. Before he did so, Katie spotted a young woman of Asian decent (our town has a very large Chinese/Taiwanese population :) and walked up to her and said "You are from China and so am I." She then proceeded to count to 10 for her in Mandarin. The girl was a young teen and did not look that excited to be engaged by Katie so I told Katie to say goodbye and she said "Zai Jian" and off we went back to the chairs for a bit. Finally, it was time to sign and get our cards.

All in all a pretty successful outing I would say. I think that my little mischief man is growing up and learning how to behave. Of course, the fact that he had been put back in the Yellow Zone in school for bad behavior today reminds me that he is a work in progress.

Hey, aren't we all?

It's all part of the plan

My friend Mary says that G-d makes REALLY mischievous little boys this adorable so that their mother's do not get too mad at them when they wreak their havoc. I think she is so right! Darn!!

True to form

That is how our two little children were running today. Mama always knows ;-)

Today was the first trip to the Pediatric Dentist for our DD. I knew that when I told them recently about going, that their reactions would be totally different and I was so right. Katie and her worry wart self, immediately wailed "NOOOOO, I don't want to go to the dentist, I don't like the dentist!!!" This child has never been to the dentist, she has never spoken to anyone about the dentist as far as I know and the only knowledge that she has is from a couple of "very fun" books that I have read to her about the dentist. It is just her nature to be fearful of the unknown. Ethan on the other hand also ran true to form and when told of the impending appointment yelled "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I love the Dentist!!" Yup, same lack of knowledge and two very different reactions. Our mischief man has never met a new experience that he was not open to.

Of course, I have spent the last couple of days gently reminding Katie of the upcoming appointment and reminding her that the Dentist is a fun place for children and that she will get a new toothbrush and maybe even a prize if she is very cooperative. She did not look that convinced.

Today, we set off on our adventure and when we pulled into the parking lot and pointed out that we were there, Ethan cheered and Katie moaned. In we walked and Katie perked up when she saw the televisions, toys and video games. Ethan was already perked up, so his Perko-meter went off the charts!

After a few minutes we were called in and the DD were instructed how to brush their teeth after being able to choose new toothbrushes. They then got a chance to try it themselves. Katie looked utterly disgusted and Ethan tried to take all the toothbrushes from all of the sinks in the room....OY!

The DD, Marc and I were then taken back to the room where they would be examined by the dentist and then given their cleaning. The hygienist asked who wanted to go first and who do you think yelled....ME!?! Of course,....Ethan! That seemed like a good idea since then Katie would see that it was not a big deal by watching her brother. Ethan ran into the room and laid down on the chair all excited. The hygienist put sunglasses on him so that the light would not bother him and she examined his teeth. I knew what she would find and it would not be good. From the moment that we met our son in China we immediately saw the crowding, fused teeth and decay. He was still on the bottle at 2 1/2 so his teeth basically came to a point in the front from the nipple. I am sure that the issues are a combination of neglect, bad nutrition possibly of birth mother and child and the bottle being his main source of nutrition for too long and most likely propped in his mouth too much. For the past two years as we were building our attachment, we just did our best to keep his teeth clean and limit sugars so that when we felt comfortable taking him to the dentist it would not have worsened.

The dentist came in and after greeting us and speaking to the children, got her look at E's mouth. She found lots of cavities, fused teeth, cosmetic discoloration and severe crowding that basically ensures lots of extractions and orthodontia in the future. We spoke about our plan of action for him and then the hygienist got down to business and cleaned his teeth. Ethan basically giggled through the whole cleaning. I am glad that he is not frightened by the dentist because we will be back monthly for him for quite awhile, between the work that needs to be done in addition to special fluoride treatments.

Now, it was Katie's turn and again true to form she became quietly upset and gritted her teeth. The Dentist and Hygienist were excellent and were able to speak to her just the right way to have her open her mouth and cooperate. She was absolutely fine after that and just as I thought she has absolutely perfect teeth, gums and a very good chance at no orthodontia in the future if the spacing that she has now holds true. Good thing, since if she had to have the amount of work that E is going to have to have, we would both need therapy in the end.

We ended our appointment with two happy children bearing new toothbrushes, floss, pictures of them with the dentist, stuffed animals and prizes....wow, were they happy!

Even though we have lots of work ahead we were happy too. Dr Abby felt that we could really help E since we are tackling the issues early on and now both members of the DD say that they like going to the dentist and can't wait to go back!

P.S. Justin, I know that you read this daily so let me remind you that you need to get to the dentist too! You can never get too old for a little mama nagging...er... I mean love :)

Here are some photos from the visit taken by my phone camera and the one that the office took of them with the Doctor.

Ethan having his teeth looked at

Katie watching Ethan intently

Katie having her teeth examined

Dr Abby and the DD after a successful first visit to the dentist!

What being a mother means to me

In one word....

EVERYTHING

There is nothing that gives me greater pleasure in the world than being around my children, all of them. I adore being their Mom.

Having this second chance at parenting has been the greatest gift of my life. Not necessarily because it is always fun or easy, although I do appreciate those times immensely. I think the biggest gift that parenthood during the "middle years" is the gift of wisdom and patience that I have been able to utilize in my parenting toolbox. I have always perceived myself as a good mom, although I surely wish that I had the head on my shoulders back then that I do now. I don't think that I was able to see the bigger picture in terms of the impact my words and deeds would have so many years later. I think good intentions and lots of love went a long way with Justin, as he is a super man. He is the kind of a man that I am proud to say will make a wonderful partner to his bride to be, Judy. That is the best gift that I could have ever been part of giving.

Thankfully, the Little's have the benefit of all of this "hard fought" wisdom that I have accumulated. I can already see the people that they will become being formed right in front of my eyes on a daily basis.

Lastly, there is no greater joy in life for me than watching the three of them together. Here I am this past July with the three of them and you can see the happiness all over my face.

Lori is one lucky mama and boy does she know it!!

Why is it so much harder to take it off than it is to put it on?

This is the dress that this mother of the groom (yours truly) is wearing to her son's wedding. I love it, love it, love it! There is just one problem, it really does not fit!!

I did not even intend to purchase a dress that fateful day, a couple of months back. Justin and Judy asked us to come and look at Tuxes with them. When we mentioned to the owner of the store that I was about to start looking for my dress, she pointed us in the direction of a store just a few doors down that sells Mother of the Bride and Groom dresses. Yes, there really is a whole store dedicated just to that.

You should have seen me; it was really quite comical. The four of us walk in to this little cramped store with way too many dresses stuffed into it. I became completely overwhelmed the moment that I crossed over the threshold. I am not a great shopper anyway and this just sent me into full tilt. Marc, who has a great eye for what I look good in, immediately started pulling dresses from the racks and showing them to me. I kept mumbling something about the fact that I still had some weight to lose before I wanted to try anything on. None of the three of them were buying it. Neither was the clerk that was approaching me while openly scoffing at the idea that I would lose weight before the big day. "Everyone who comes in here says that!" she said, to which I responded quite firmly "I will be losing at least 20 lbs!!" In her most soothing voice, saved for delusional mother's of the groom like me, she directed me to a couple of dresses that she felt would suit me. Outnumbered, I chose two gowns and shuffled off to the dressing room where I escaped behind the door, blissfully alone and tried the first gown on ...NO WAY! It looked awful! I took the second one down from the hook which I really liked on the hanger and tried to slip it on but it was more like squeezing myself in. I had chosen a size that I felt would be a fit but if you have ever tried on a formal gown or a wedding dress then you know that the sizing had to have been set up by some sadistic man who wanted to make women feel awful about themselves! I asked the clerk for help and she had to elicit the help of my entourage who basically had to help zip me into this thing. What a picture that must have been but I LOVED IT! I decided right then and there that it was the perfect dress and that I WOULD lose the weight necessary to zip it up comfortably, which leads me to the title of this post.

I have cut out all in between meal snacking. For the most part, I have halved my meals and I have been exercising 5 days a week but the weight does not seem to be going anywhere! I have to go for my final fitting at the end of this month and I am getting a teensy bit concerned....heck, who am I kidding, I am downright petrified!!

I will report back after the fitting. I hope that after all of this time not eating, that I do not end up eating my words.

Lazy Sunday

It was a totally lazy day today; so lazy in fact that I did not even feel like blogging but I made a commitment that I would post once a day for all of November, so here I am.

We did so little today that the highlight of the day was heading outside with the DD this afternoon so that they could ride their bikes and take artistic license with their sidewalk chalk. Other than that, the only active thing that I did the whole day was to take a long walk. I had to do that since I am trying to get in better shape before Justin's wedding and the dress that I purchased a few months back did not exactly fit too well when I tried it on in the store.

I will give you all the gory details tomorrow. For now, I will leave you with some DD sweetness.

















These next three photos were taken right after I told Ethan that he could not ride out of our cul de sac. He has been perfecting his sulking technique for quite some time and this seemed to be the perfect opportunity to show us how good it has gotten. Katie is trying to comfort him in these shots...







Back to having fun together.

A Party in the Park

Birthday parties are almost a weekly affair for the DD and this weekend was no exception. As birthday parties go though, this one ranked way up there at the top of the list. The weather was windy but temperate, the kids were led in activities by trained counselors and many of my closest friends were there. I got to actually enjoy adult conversation while the kids had a blast.

Like I said, it ranked right up there....thanks Candy and David! Rachel's birthday was a blast!

These are the raw shots with no edits and there are 120 of them...enjoy the slideshow. Note, in one of the shots you will see me shooting a bird. My husband was clandestinely taking shots of me and I caught him. That was my first reaction...I know...real mature of me *SNORT*


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

The Dynamic Duo's Faithful Friend

Gabby was our fur baby long before the DD came into our lives. She took us by storm in January of 1998 at the tender age of 6 weeks and promptly stole our heart. I will never forget the little Chihuahua puppy fitting nicely into then thirteen year old Justin's palm.

Marc and I met the next year and into our lives came Buddy, a Miniature Pincher with big time personality! The two pooches got a long famously for the next seven years, until one week before we were scheduled to leave for China to adopt Katie. Fifteen year old Buddy, who had been previously as healthy as a horse, went into sudden Kidney failure. He passed away days later. What a sad time that was for us and for Gabby who loved Buddy so much.

We left for two weeks for our first adoption and came back with a rambunctious thirteen month old in tow. Poor Gabby was shell shocked. Remember, she had been living with three adults, one of which was away at college. Life was pretty tranquil for her but now Katie was in constant pursuit of Gabby and wanted to love on her all the time. Of course, Katie's idea of loving was a little on the rough side. Our poor fur baby sunk into a deep depression. She no longer had Buddy and now in her home came a crazy little girl who could not keep her hands off of her. She stopped eating and just moped and slept all day. We took her to the vet, who told us that she was in depression and we would need to put her on doggy Prozac if she did not perk up soon. We worked really hard to give her lots of extra TLC and keep Katie in check, which was not an easy task. Slowly, the fog lifted and our sweet little Chihuahua was back to her old self.

Fast forward eighteen months and the arrival of Ethan. We were worried about Gabby but with this addition she was much more resilient and seemed to be able to handle the newest toddler who had never seen a doggy before.

Now Gabby loves the DD very much. She is the first to run in their room each morning to greet them and sits by their side whenever she gets a chance. The DD are very good with her now as well. They love to feed her and walk her. They are very gently with her as well.

Gabby has turned around to the point that she has become their "very fierce" protector and barks and growls at anyone she does not know that comes to close to our children. Of course, the fact that she is 5 1/2 lbs. and so small in stature, most people just laugh at her. She does not seem to take notice of their amusement at all. She thinks that she is a very big girl and that they should be worried.

I love what an animal teaches children. Our DD are so compassionate and loving to animals because of their exposure to their cherished Pet. I think this translates to all living beings as well.

Gabby is not only loved by our immediate family but all of her grandparents vie for a turn with her when we go out of town. Gabby loves all of them so much that she literally cries (it's true) when she sees them.

Gabby is a very special member of our family and we all love her very much!

Swine Flu and vaccinating our children

This topic is surely on the minds of all of us these days and I think even more so if you have young children. It seems lately that there are no easy answers to many issues and of course the decision to vaccinate or not is no exception. When I first heard about H1N1, I really discounted it's ferocity. Now, after seeing many of my friend's children battling this illness, I have a very healthy respect for it. There is even one adult in my extended adoption circle who has passed away after being on a respirator for the last days of his life. He is survived by a wife and two children. Pretty scary stuff.

To complicate the decision making process is that while most have a pretty mild case of the disease there seems to be a small population of people who are at risk to become critically ill and death is a definite concern.

My first thought about vaccinating was No Way!! I will not vaccinate my children against this bug with a vaccine that has not had enough time being mass produced to allow us to know what the real downside is. Now though, after educating myself over these past months, I have changed my stand on this and so has Marc. Ethan will be vaccinated in his school over the next week or two, they just sent home the permission slips. Katie on the other hand has no access at this time, as she is in a private preschool and the health department in this area is providing it to the public schools first.

The subject of Katie vaccination is my latest dilemma. I have come to find out that the nasal swab test that is given to make the diagnosis of flu, before it is sent to the CDC for confirmation has about a 30% false negative rate. Based on that fact and also that Katie exhibited all of the troubling symptoms before she was hospitalized with Pneumonia this past May, I have a very strong suspicion that even though she tested negative for Flu that she in fact did have H1N1 and we were not aware of it. It was fast, furious and she was sicker in 24 hours than I have ever seen anyone. I have asked her pediatrician if we can do a titers (antibodies) test on her to see if she was exposed at one time before we have the opportunity to vaccinate her. Like most of you, I do not want to vaccinate my child unless I have a very real reason to do so. I should hear back with an answer in a couple of days.

One more issue in the daily onslaught of issues to grapple with. Of course, when it comes to our children the stakes are about as high as they get.

So, what are you deciding for your family?

Our Real Life Daughter is a Pretend Fairy Princess

Katie Starr has a wonderful imagination and today I caught her at play

We are placed in each other's lives for a reason

I always knew that but today, once again, the point was driven home! Yesterday, I posted about fear and love. I spoke about my own failings as a human being and that I strive daily to be all about love. I am human and so it is a work in progress. I spoke of my love and admiration for my friend Shelby, who runs the Elison Project, which is a foundation that benefits special needs adoptions, the families that adopt them and the surgeries that will change their lives.

When I spoke of Elision, I knew that they, like so many other foundations and non-profits were suffering in this economy. What I did not know when I wrote the blog post, is that Shelby was in a great deal of anguish about all that she was not able to do because of the financial state of her charitable entity.

What I found out this morning was that my post was the impetus for her to reconsider her thought patterns, especially after she discussed it with one of her dear friends who pointed out that it is more about what you HAVE done to make a difference in a life and not to get bogged down in what you have not been able to do.

Saving one life makes a difference. Shelby has already made much more of a difference than most of us could ever dream of doing and she could most certainly rest on her laurels but no way, not Shelby!!

The end of her blog post will give you a glimpse into this amazing woman's soul.

"I can not tell you what will happen with The Elison Project. I can not tell you if we will be around a year from now (we are out of money), but I can tell you that starting today and for the rest of my life, I will never again let what I am NOT doing get in the way of what I am doing or let what I can't do, stop me from what needs to be done.

I will never again let my own self doubt get in the way of working my fingers to the bone doing all I can, until my very last breath, for all those waiting and hoping and praying."

I know as I never knew before that we walk paths towards each other and we just need to search to know why we have come upon this person in our life. It is obvious in my opinion as to why Shelby and I are walking this path together at this point in our lives. On my end, I am at a crossroads as well and am truly inspired by her faith and courage. I needed to read her words today. They give me the strength to continue to follow my heart as it leads me to new and exciting chapters yet to be written.

P.S. There is something every single one of us can do right now to help Elison. Shelby is putting together a cookbook for a fundraiser. Click on this button and find out where you can send a recipe to be included in this worthwhile fundraiser. I am going to send mine in today. I will have to wrack my brain to come up with a good one because as all of you know me know very well, I am no domestic goddess. I will do it though...to make a small difference in the life of a child. If I can do it, you can too! :)

I am leaving the fear behind so I leave you for today with love,

Can your love overcome your fear?

Surprisingly enough, a Toys R Us catalog is the catalyst for this blog post. I was looking at the holiday circular over lunch today and it occurred to me as I thumbed through the pages, that the children modeling in it represented many different ethnic backgrounds as well as children that have challenges of one type of another. As I looked at the children, I felt happiness that Madison Avenue is becoming more aware that we want to view all different kinds of faces, not just ones that look like our own. It is a start, but I know we also have a long way to go. It has to translate on so many levels and pave inroads for so many different groups.

We all would like to believe that we do not have prejudice. Denying our prejudice is denying the truth. I am prejudiced and so are you. There is no way that we cannot be. It is ingrained into our psyches at the earliest of ages and it is ALWAYS based in fear of the unknown.

One of the biggest prejudices that I held for far too long was in the area of children that had special needs. "Those" children were for families that could "handle" their needs. I would marvel at what "those" people could deal with but "No, thank you," I was not interested in dealing with those types of needs myself. Quite honestly, if you had asked me ten years ago if I would ever think to adopt a child (my race or another one) I would have told you that you were nuts.

The story of how we decided to adopt from China is a long one and one that I will save for another day but quite honestly, it was never on my radar. Now, I cannot imagine how it could not have been.

When we first decided to adopt from China, there was no question that we would be asking the officials in China to let us adopt a child with no known issues, what is commonly known in the adoption community as a "non special needs adoption." We submitted our paperwork, took our place in line and decided that no matter how long the wait was, we were going to have that "perfect" little girl that we had been dreaming of. We, in no way felt that we could possible handle a child with needs greater than than what a supposed "normal and healthy" child would/could bring. As the wait lengthened from 6 to 10 months, which back then seemed like an eternity and today is a walk in the park, we saw some of our fellow adoptive families leave the NSN queue and find a "waiting child" on a special needs list and pursue those adoptions.

When we finally received our referral of our precious daughter Katie Starr, we rejoiced and set out for China with a clear idea in mind about what to expect. What we expected and what we got were two very different things. What we got was a perfect daughter with lots of imperfect baggage brought about by 3 disruptions in caregivers and a "gotcha" moment done in her sleep that really turned into what seemed to be an abduction from her foster family. I am not naive enough to think that she really thought that she was abducted but deep in the recesses of her brain, there were responses being set up to deal with the constant loss of any security that she had, over and over again. We were lucky with Katie, in that we believe that most of her other needs were met by the orphanage and then her foster family. You have never met a child as on target developmentally as Katie but when it came to whether she had a secure bone in her body...the answer was an unequivocal "NO." I am sure that if you were to ask our travel mates, they would tell you that we had one very sad child on our hands. She cried constantly and when not crying would just stare into space for very long periods of time. The easing up phase that all in China adoption know about usually happens in Guangzhou, but for us never materialized. When it was time to come home we took the same scared, sad and very sick child home. I knew very well after raising Justin what a secure attachment felt like and this was not it; not even close. I cried myself to sleep many nights at the thought that this daughter, that I loved with all of my being, would never allow herself to love and return that love back to us. It took us a lot of time (months into a year or more) to help her form the attachments that would allow her to succumb to our love and feel more secure. Even now, 3 1/2 years later, we are still working on feeling secure but thankfully she is attached...very much so.

Katie taught me not to ever take for granted that what you see on the surface is what is really underneath. She taught me that special needs are not something to be afraid of. She taught me and I believe that I speak for Marc, that documented special needs were not something to shy away from if you decided to bring a child into your heart and home. That sweet little girl and her courage gave us the courage to face our unknown fears and prejudices head on and to adopt a child with special needs. Enter Ethan, a little boy that stole our hearts and who's own heart had been very defective. We took the leap of faith that was now born of real life education and headed to China to bring him home. Once again, we were bound to get taught a lesson that would further expand our horizons. Our little boy, who's heart had been surgically healed by the hands of angels known as doctors, was very wounded at the hands of his caretakers. He was severely neglected and he presented with what is called "Institutional Autism" and failure to thrive. OK, what the heck did we sign up for was my shameful thought but thankfully, I was able to work through those thoughts and bring home this son who changed our lives so much as he fought to overcome his issues. Now we know very deeply in our hearts that there is really no issue that we cannot face. These children with special needs (both unknown and undocumented and known and fully disclosed, as well as all the variables that lie between those two ends of the spectrum) have been the greatest blessings of our lives. I look at children as just that, children. It no longer matters to me whether they have cleft lips/palates, missing fingers or limbs, heart defects, blood ailments or any so called disfigurement or ailment. All that matters to me now is that they are a child in need of love and a family. I am no longer in a position due to age or resources to be able to bring another child into our lives but one of my life's missions is to educate and therefore rid the world of prejudice. It is like a Cancer that will only spread if not stopped.

There is a really special person that was brought into my life through the miracle of adoption. Her name is Shelby and she runs a very well know foundation in the Chinese Adoption Community that assists people with the funds that they need for a special needs adoption or older child adoption. She is committed to these children and their families. The Elison Project is like so many other foundations and non profits today; in need of some assistance to continue their good works. It would be wonderful if you could donate any amount of money but even if you can't donate monetarily then please spread the word about them on your blog, facebook or even in conversation. We never know who may be listening when we speak. Shelby is an angel on earth. She has a large family born through biology and adoption. All of her adopted children have special needs. She talks the talk and then backs it up and walks the walk. I aspire to her goodness and continue to try to be a better person each day by her example and others that set equally good ones each day.

We are all different and we are all very much the same. I know that we can all find a way to broaden our horizons just a bit to allow ourselves to imagine the possibilities. I feel sad that I wasted so much time early on being fearful and therefore closing myself off to those possibilities, which were really opportunities to love. That is the really sick and insidious thing about prejudice, it takes away our ability to love.

Thank you for reading my post today and please spread the love.

National Blog Posting Month

My friend Monica alerted me to the fact that there is a month...this one...for posting on your blog daily! Since it is also National Adoption Month, it reminds me to re-energize my blog a bit, as our adoptions were the reason that I began it in the first place. It has become a lot more than that to me though. It is a place that I can record the highlights and the low lights for the old and failing memory banks. It is also a place to share, support and just be me for the whole world to see. Facebook has taken me away more than I like but I am back and I hope that you will be too!

This is the first of two for the day since it is November 2nd and I need to catch up. Catch ya later and c'mon take the challenge right along with me....BLOG POST ONCE A DAY! You can do it!