Thursday, December 31, 2009

This new chapter brings 25 plus years rushing back

As we embark upon this new year, which is always a time for reflection, I have much more to reflect upon than ever before as my son prepares to be married this coming Saturday. To say that the years rushed by in the blink of an eye does not even do the passing of time justice. I sit here with tears stinging my eyes as I think of the newborn, the baby, the toddler, the boy, the adolescent and now the man that my Justin has become.

My dreams for him are all being realized. He is moving through this life in a way that would make any mother proud. He is a good person, loving, kind, hysterically funny, hard working and now all of those wonderful qualities are going to be appreciated by a loving wife. Judy is bright, beautiful and loves Justin as fiercely as he loves her. No mother could or should ask for more.

I cannot say that it has all been smooth sailing. I would not be doing the man justice if I told you that falsehood. Thankfully though, with each mistake came an opportunity to learn and my boy has always been bright enough to learn his lessons well the first time. Because he has learned lots of lessons early, he has set himself up for success and happiness during this time and beyond.

I would also be remiss if I did not mention that even though my dreams are being realized that there have been growing pains experienced as the mother of a grown child while still mothering the DD. Navigating the "letting go" process has been painful in some ways and exhilerating in others. I have found it to be the most challanging part of parenting so far. It is not an easy thing to watch as your son chooses a woman to spend his the rest of his life with and no longer needs his mother in the same way. This natural process has been a bit hard for me. Justin has a new number one woman in his life and that is as it should be. However, that does not mean that it was not without some uncomfortable moments along the way. When my four year old children look at me it is with blind and unadulterated adoration. A grown son looks at his wife in that way. There are lots of years and time to come to grips with the changes but there still is a learning curve...especially for someone as emotional as I am.

The beautiful thing is that Justin and I are both communicators. When we are on the brink of a new challenge, we suck it up and discuss it. When we let our emotions get the best of us, we never allow the chasm to widen and silence to intervene. We have been able to come to our new "normal" and appreciate all that it brings. What it has brought to me is a wonderful daughter in law as well as a beautiful new family to expand our horizons and bring more fun and laughter to our happy home.

Justin, I want to the world to know how proud I am of you; not just because you are truly a good citizen and wonderful man but because you have chosen an amazing woman to journey through this life with. I could not be any happier for you than I am. Marc is as well but this blog is my personal voice and I want you to hear it loud and clear from your mama.

May you know joy beyond human measure, may you live your life to it's fullest potential, may you always be loyal and true and above all, may you put your wife first, last and always. If you do all of this....your life will be all that I had dreamt for you but more importantly, what you have dreamt for yourself.

I love you.

PS I have shared this before but I think it is worth sharing again.


Gail said...

I am crying seeing the slideshow, Lori. So many wonderful memories! All your hard work and his too...the time goes so fast, doesn't it?

Congratulations to you ALL as a family!

Tammie said...

What a beautiful statement. It is no wonder that Justin is the man he has become with you & Marc to guide him along the way.

Mazal tov to all of you!

We5Chois said...

Such a wonderful tribute to an incredible son. Your relationship with Justin is one we should all strive to achieve.
I know there is not going to be any dry eyes this Saturday as you watch Judy & Justin take their vows. I wish I could be there too, but you know I am in spirit.
Justin and Judy - this is your year - the first of many!

Vivian M said...

What a beautiful expression of your love. I am so not ready to let go, I cannot even fathom walking my daughter down the aisle without bursting into tears! Thank goodness I have a ways to go. I only hope I can be like you (and Marc), and have your grace, courage and chutzpah!
Mazel Tov on the upcoming wedding, I cannot wait to see pictures - especially of you in that stunning dress! Have a wonderful time, and please wish Justin and Judy all the very best from us.

Candy said...

Beautiful post. You are one heck of a mom to all of your children.

The slide show is wonderful. Justin hasn't changed much.

Wishing Justin & Judy a life of love & happiness.

Teresa said...


There is a special bond between a mom and her first-born son. I pray that Peter's life choices are done as well as Justin's.

Congratulations on a job well done, Mom. Enjoy tomorrow to it's fullest. You've earned it.

Colleen said...

I love that slideshow ::sniff sniff:: I can't imagine how I will feel when my boys get married...I really can't wait for that day.I am so excited for you and for your son...I can't wait to see pictures.

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Mary McG in TN said...

I am not feeling good about 12 days of not posting. I hope everything is okay!