Lazy Sunday

It was a totally lazy day today; so lazy in fact that I did not even feel like blogging but I made a commitment that I would post once a day for all of November, so here I am.

We did so little today that the highlight of the day was heading outside with the DD this afternoon so that they could ride their bikes and take artistic license with their sidewalk chalk. Other than that, the only active thing that I did the whole day was to take a long walk. I had to do that since I am trying to get in better shape before Justin's wedding and the dress that I purchased a few months back did not exactly fit too well when I tried it on in the store.

I will give you all the gory details tomorrow. For now, I will leave you with some DD sweetness.

















These next three photos were taken right after I told Ethan that he could not ride out of our cul de sac. He has been perfecting his sulking technique for quite some time and this seemed to be the perfect opportunity to show us how good it has gotten. Katie is trying to comfort him in these shots...







Back to having fun together.

A Party in the Park

Birthday parties are almost a weekly affair for the DD and this weekend was no exception. As birthday parties go though, this one ranked way up there at the top of the list. The weather was windy but temperate, the kids were led in activities by trained counselors and many of my closest friends were there. I got to actually enjoy adult conversation while the kids had a blast.

Like I said, it ranked right up there....thanks Candy and David! Rachel's birthday was a blast!

These are the raw shots with no edits and there are 120 of them...enjoy the slideshow. Note, in one of the shots you will see me shooting a bird. My husband was clandestinely taking shots of me and I caught him. That was my first reaction...I know...real mature of me *SNORT*


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

The Dynamic Duo's Faithful Friend

Gabby was our fur baby long before the DD came into our lives. She took us by storm in January of 1998 at the tender age of 6 weeks and promptly stole our heart. I will never forget the little Chihuahua puppy fitting nicely into then thirteen year old Justin's palm.

Marc and I met the next year and into our lives came Buddy, a Miniature Pincher with big time personality! The two pooches got a long famously for the next seven years, until one week before we were scheduled to leave for China to adopt Katie. Fifteen year old Buddy, who had been previously as healthy as a horse, went into sudden Kidney failure. He passed away days later. What a sad time that was for us and for Gabby who loved Buddy so much.

We left for two weeks for our first adoption and came back with a rambunctious thirteen month old in tow. Poor Gabby was shell shocked. Remember, she had been living with three adults, one of which was away at college. Life was pretty tranquil for her but now Katie was in constant pursuit of Gabby and wanted to love on her all the time. Of course, Katie's idea of loving was a little on the rough side. Our poor fur baby sunk into a deep depression. She no longer had Buddy and now in her home came a crazy little girl who could not keep her hands off of her. She stopped eating and just moped and slept all day. We took her to the vet, who told us that she was in depression and we would need to put her on doggy Prozac if she did not perk up soon. We worked really hard to give her lots of extra TLC and keep Katie in check, which was not an easy task. Slowly, the fog lifted and our sweet little Chihuahua was back to her old self.

Fast forward eighteen months and the arrival of Ethan. We were worried about Gabby but with this addition she was much more resilient and seemed to be able to handle the newest toddler who had never seen a doggy before.

Now Gabby loves the DD very much. She is the first to run in their room each morning to greet them and sits by their side whenever she gets a chance. The DD are very good with her now as well. They love to feed her and walk her. They are very gently with her as well.

Gabby has turned around to the point that she has become their "very fierce" protector and barks and growls at anyone she does not know that comes to close to our children. Of course, the fact that she is 5 1/2 lbs. and so small in stature, most people just laugh at her. She does not seem to take notice of their amusement at all. She thinks that she is a very big girl and that they should be worried.

I love what an animal teaches children. Our DD are so compassionate and loving to animals because of their exposure to their cherished Pet. I think this translates to all living beings as well.

Gabby is not only loved by our immediate family but all of her grandparents vie for a turn with her when we go out of town. Gabby loves all of them so much that she literally cries (it's true) when she sees them.

Gabby is a very special member of our family and we all love her very much!

Swine Flu and vaccinating our children

This topic is surely on the minds of all of us these days and I think even more so if you have young children. It seems lately that there are no easy answers to many issues and of course the decision to vaccinate or not is no exception. When I first heard about H1N1, I really discounted it's ferocity. Now, after seeing many of my friend's children battling this illness, I have a very healthy respect for it. There is even one adult in my extended adoption circle who has passed away after being on a respirator for the last days of his life. He is survived by a wife and two children. Pretty scary stuff.

To complicate the decision making process is that while most have a pretty mild case of the disease there seems to be a small population of people who are at risk to become critically ill and death is a definite concern.

My first thought about vaccinating was No Way!! I will not vaccinate my children against this bug with a vaccine that has not had enough time being mass produced to allow us to know what the real downside is. Now though, after educating myself over these past months, I have changed my stand on this and so has Marc. Ethan will be vaccinated in his school over the next week or two, they just sent home the permission slips. Katie on the other hand has no access at this time, as she is in a private preschool and the health department in this area is providing it to the public schools first.

The subject of Katie vaccination is my latest dilemma. I have come to find out that the nasal swab test that is given to make the diagnosis of flu, before it is sent to the CDC for confirmation has about a 30% false negative rate. Based on that fact and also that Katie exhibited all of the troubling symptoms before she was hospitalized with Pneumonia this past May, I have a very strong suspicion that even though she tested negative for Flu that she in fact did have H1N1 and we were not aware of it. It was fast, furious and she was sicker in 24 hours than I have ever seen anyone. I have asked her pediatrician if we can do a titers (antibodies) test on her to see if she was exposed at one time before we have the opportunity to vaccinate her. Like most of you, I do not want to vaccinate my child unless I have a very real reason to do so. I should hear back with an answer in a couple of days.

One more issue in the daily onslaught of issues to grapple with. Of course, when it comes to our children the stakes are about as high as they get.

So, what are you deciding for your family?

Our Real Life Daughter is a Pretend Fairy Princess

Katie Starr has a wonderful imagination and today I caught her at play

We are placed in each other's lives for a reason

I always knew that but today, once again, the point was driven home! Yesterday, I posted about fear and love. I spoke about my own failings as a human being and that I strive daily to be all about love. I am human and so it is a work in progress. I spoke of my love and admiration for my friend Shelby, who runs the Elison Project, which is a foundation that benefits special needs adoptions, the families that adopt them and the surgeries that will change their lives.

When I spoke of Elision, I knew that they, like so many other foundations and non-profits were suffering in this economy. What I did not know when I wrote the blog post, is that Shelby was in a great deal of anguish about all that she was not able to do because of the financial state of her charitable entity.

What I found out this morning was that my post was the impetus for her to reconsider her thought patterns, especially after she discussed it with one of her dear friends who pointed out that it is more about what you HAVE done to make a difference in a life and not to get bogged down in what you have not been able to do.

Saving one life makes a difference. Shelby has already made much more of a difference than most of us could ever dream of doing and she could most certainly rest on her laurels but no way, not Shelby!!

The end of her blog post will give you a glimpse into this amazing woman's soul.

"I can not tell you what will happen with The Elison Project. I can not tell you if we will be around a year from now (we are out of money), but I can tell you that starting today and for the rest of my life, I will never again let what I am NOT doing get in the way of what I am doing or let what I can't do, stop me from what needs to be done.

I will never again let my own self doubt get in the way of working my fingers to the bone doing all I can, until my very last breath, for all those waiting and hoping and praying."

I know as I never knew before that we walk paths towards each other and we just need to search to know why we have come upon this person in our life. It is obvious in my opinion as to why Shelby and I are walking this path together at this point in our lives. On my end, I am at a crossroads as well and am truly inspired by her faith and courage. I needed to read her words today. They give me the strength to continue to follow my heart as it leads me to new and exciting chapters yet to be written.

P.S. There is something every single one of us can do right now to help Elison. Shelby is putting together a cookbook for a fundraiser. Click on this button and find out where you can send a recipe to be included in this worthwhile fundraiser. I am going to send mine in today. I will have to wrack my brain to come up with a good one because as all of you know me know very well, I am no domestic goddess. I will do it though...to make a small difference in the life of a child. If I can do it, you can too! :)

I am leaving the fear behind so I leave you for today with love,

Can your love overcome your fear?

Surprisingly enough, a Toys R Us catalog is the catalyst for this blog post. I was looking at the holiday circular over lunch today and it occurred to me as I thumbed through the pages, that the children modeling in it represented many different ethnic backgrounds as well as children that have challenges of one type of another. As I looked at the children, I felt happiness that Madison Avenue is becoming more aware that we want to view all different kinds of faces, not just ones that look like our own. It is a start, but I know we also have a long way to go. It has to translate on so many levels and pave inroads for so many different groups.

We all would like to believe that we do not have prejudice. Denying our prejudice is denying the truth. I am prejudiced and so are you. There is no way that we cannot be. It is ingrained into our psyches at the earliest of ages and it is ALWAYS based in fear of the unknown.

One of the biggest prejudices that I held for far too long was in the area of children that had special needs. "Those" children were for families that could "handle" their needs. I would marvel at what "those" people could deal with but "No, thank you," I was not interested in dealing with those types of needs myself. Quite honestly, if you had asked me ten years ago if I would ever think to adopt a child (my race or another one) I would have told you that you were nuts.

The story of how we decided to adopt from China is a long one and one that I will save for another day but quite honestly, it was never on my radar. Now, I cannot imagine how it could not have been.

When we first decided to adopt from China, there was no question that we would be asking the officials in China to let us adopt a child with no known issues, what is commonly known in the adoption community as a "non special needs adoption." We submitted our paperwork, took our place in line and decided that no matter how long the wait was, we were going to have that "perfect" little girl that we had been dreaming of. We, in no way felt that we could possible handle a child with needs greater than than what a supposed "normal and healthy" child would/could bring. As the wait lengthened from 6 to 10 months, which back then seemed like an eternity and today is a walk in the park, we saw some of our fellow adoptive families leave the NSN queue and find a "waiting child" on a special needs list and pursue those adoptions.

When we finally received our referral of our precious daughter Katie Starr, we rejoiced and set out for China with a clear idea in mind about what to expect. What we expected and what we got were two very different things. What we got was a perfect daughter with lots of imperfect baggage brought about by 3 disruptions in caregivers and a "gotcha" moment done in her sleep that really turned into what seemed to be an abduction from her foster family. I am not naive enough to think that she really thought that she was abducted but deep in the recesses of her brain, there were responses being set up to deal with the constant loss of any security that she had, over and over again. We were lucky with Katie, in that we believe that most of her other needs were met by the orphanage and then her foster family. You have never met a child as on target developmentally as Katie but when it came to whether she had a secure bone in her body...the answer was an unequivocal "NO." I am sure that if you were to ask our travel mates, they would tell you that we had one very sad child on our hands. She cried constantly and when not crying would just stare into space for very long periods of time. The easing up phase that all in China adoption know about usually happens in Guangzhou, but for us never materialized. When it was time to come home we took the same scared, sad and very sick child home. I knew very well after raising Justin what a secure attachment felt like and this was not it; not even close. I cried myself to sleep many nights at the thought that this daughter, that I loved with all of my being, would never allow herself to love and return that love back to us. It took us a lot of time (months into a year or more) to help her form the attachments that would allow her to succumb to our love and feel more secure. Even now, 3 1/2 years later, we are still working on feeling secure but thankfully she is attached...very much so.

Katie taught me not to ever take for granted that what you see on the surface is what is really underneath. She taught me that special needs are not something to be afraid of. She taught me and I believe that I speak for Marc, that documented special needs were not something to shy away from if you decided to bring a child into your heart and home. That sweet little girl and her courage gave us the courage to face our unknown fears and prejudices head on and to adopt a child with special needs. Enter Ethan, a little boy that stole our hearts and who's own heart had been very defective. We took the leap of faith that was now born of real life education and headed to China to bring him home. Once again, we were bound to get taught a lesson that would further expand our horizons. Our little boy, who's heart had been surgically healed by the hands of angels known as doctors, was very wounded at the hands of his caretakers. He was severely neglected and he presented with what is called "Institutional Autism" and failure to thrive. OK, what the heck did we sign up for was my shameful thought but thankfully, I was able to work through those thoughts and bring home this son who changed our lives so much as he fought to overcome his issues. Now we know very deeply in our hearts that there is really no issue that we cannot face. These children with special needs (both unknown and undocumented and known and fully disclosed, as well as all the variables that lie between those two ends of the spectrum) have been the greatest blessings of our lives. I look at children as just that, children. It no longer matters to me whether they have cleft lips/palates, missing fingers or limbs, heart defects, blood ailments or any so called disfigurement or ailment. All that matters to me now is that they are a child in need of love and a family. I am no longer in a position due to age or resources to be able to bring another child into our lives but one of my life's missions is to educate and therefore rid the world of prejudice. It is like a Cancer that will only spread if not stopped.

There is a really special person that was brought into my life through the miracle of adoption. Her name is Shelby and she runs a very well know foundation in the Chinese Adoption Community that assists people with the funds that they need for a special needs adoption or older child adoption. She is committed to these children and their families. The Elison Project is like so many other foundations and non profits today; in need of some assistance to continue their good works. It would be wonderful if you could donate any amount of money but even if you can't donate monetarily then please spread the word about them on your blog, facebook or even in conversation. We never know who may be listening when we speak. Shelby is an angel on earth. She has a large family born through biology and adoption. All of her adopted children have special needs. She talks the talk and then backs it up and walks the walk. I aspire to her goodness and continue to try to be a better person each day by her example and others that set equally good ones each day.

We are all different and we are all very much the same. I know that we can all find a way to broaden our horizons just a bit to allow ourselves to imagine the possibilities. I feel sad that I wasted so much time early on being fearful and therefore closing myself off to those possibilities, which were really opportunities to love. That is the really sick and insidious thing about prejudice, it takes away our ability to love.

Thank you for reading my post today and please spread the love.

National Blog Posting Month

My friend Monica alerted me to the fact that there is a month...this one...for posting on your blog daily! Since it is also National Adoption Month, it reminds me to re-energize my blog a bit, as our adoptions were the reason that I began it in the first place. It has become a lot more than that to me though. It is a place that I can record the highlights and the low lights for the old and failing memory banks. It is also a place to share, support and just be me for the whole world to see. Facebook has taken me away more than I like but I am back and I hope that you will be too!

This is the first of two for the day since it is November 2nd and I need to catch up. Catch ya later and c'mon take the challenge right along with me....BLOG POST ONCE A DAY! You can do it!

Coveted Prize

Ethan won this Tootsie Roll after playing a party game over and over at the school Halloween Party today. He was finally victorious and here he is savoring his spoils.

Two Amazing Years with Ethan Frederick Zhiqing

I documented Ethan's first year adoption anniversary by looking back over the course of a year full of great challenges and triumphs. If you would like to read about our first year with Ethan you can do so here.

I would like to mark this second anniversary with Ethan by giving you a little glimpse into our little man today.

Ethan is now 31.5 lbs and 40 inches tall. He has finally made the US growth charts (barely) but hey, we will take it!!

He is still a bit "eating challenged" but mostly in the way many children are. He would prefer to eat junk food all day long if we allowed it. We, of course do not. Anyone who knows me, knows that this is an area that I am pretty strong about. When I serve a meal, you must try it. If you do not eat it then you do not get anything for dessert. Same holds true for Ethan's breakfast and lunch, which he eats at school. We get a report each day about what he has eaten and if he did not eat what was served to him then he will not get a snack, but rather will have to eat the sandwich that was left. He totally understand the rules and so about 95% of the time he eats he meals. In fact, he so understand the rules that when he gets off of the bus he tells me what he has eaten before I read all about it. This is very important as when he came home he was considered failure to thrive and malnourished by his both doctor and Early Intervention. He would not eat ANYTHING solid and it took us almost 2 months to get him off of the bottle at 2 1/2 years old. I am sure that you can understand how important eating was to us, so we are thrilled with the amazing progress that he has made.

Ethan is a great sleeper...period!! Love that!

Ethan's language has also made amazing strides and he is catching up by leaps and bounds. I think that he will have additional speech support once he reaches Kindergarten but when he came home he was placed at under 6 months in speech and development, in terms of his chronological age, so to get from there to close to his age level in 2 years is a tremendous victory.

His development runs along the same timeline as his speech...we are amazed at what a big boy he is becoming. He is somewhat behind in his fine motor skills but we are hoping for improvement there as well this year.

I can still see areas of weakness in his gait sometimes when he runs. We recently had him in a soccer clinic for preschoolers which seemed to be of help. We will continue to work on his large muscle groups and in time it will improve. The physical sport that he excels in is swimming. He is an amazing little swimmer and I actually think that he may have gills. His lung capacity is amazing, especially considering that he was born with two major heart defects and an underdeveloped trachea. I have no idea how he does it but anyone who sees him swim will shake their head in disbelief at how long he can hold his breath.

Ethan has a keen eye for detail. He watches everything and I mean everything that we do. He especially wants to understand how things work and his desire is to be of help in all situation's is huge. He is a very analytical and quite tenacious. The kiddo never gives up! Love that!

He has an issue with needing to know all the time what is on the agenda next which is an area that I have discussed before and we are constantly working on. It can be a bit maddening but we are making strides in this area as well.

Ethan is such a loving child. He is a kisser, hugger and all around sweetheart! He feels so badly if he hurts anyone in any way, either physically or emotionally. He is going to be a wonderful husband and father someday :)

He and Katie get along unbelievably well. They can play for huge stretches with no issue. Of course, there are times that they are "sharing challenged" but they are few and far between. They are fiercely protective of each other and miss each other like crazy when they are apart.

He is also as mischievous as the day is long. There is not a day where he has not plotted and carried out some agenda of his choosing. Some get him into trouble and some will do so if his plans are not quickly aborted by me or Marc. *SNORT*

Ethan loves his family and our friends so much. They love him just as much. This adorable and sweet child has taken everyone that he knows and made them his forever. There is no denying that there is something about this little one that is quite special. He is a survivor in the truest sense of the word. There are great things in store for this child and we want to be there to witness every single one of them.

We love you Ethan. You, Katie and Justin are the lights that guide our lives and we are so thankful for the gift of all of you.

Happy Second Forever Day!!

Love,
Mom and Dad

PS See how far he has come....

In China with Katie

One Year Forever

Tonight with his cake...he is all about the cake...so are we :)

It is always a treat to spend time with our FCC family

Today was our annual FCC Halloween Bash!! As always, the children had a wonderful time and the adults enjoyed watching the children and catching up with each other. Making it even more special this year was how warmly Marc was welcomed back from his time away in the hospital. He looked so happy to be amidst close friends who feel much more like extended family as my dear friend Grace says.

I always say that the additional blessing that came from the adoption of our DD was all of the wonderful people that it brought into our life.

Enjoy the pictures of our little Barbie Cheerleader, her brother the fireman and many of their adorable friends!

Home is where Marc's healthy heart is...

Yes, we are home and so thankful to be here. We actually got home two days ahead of schedule. Marc's doctor gave him a clean bill of health on Tuesday and by Wednesday we started our two day journey back to South Florida.

As I reported in my last post it was a very successful surgery and other than one bad day during the hospital stay it has been a fairly easy recovery. If you can belive it, Marc is actually going to supervise a gig tonight so in essence he is back to work. Don't worry though, he is under strict orders from the boss (me:) not to dare lift one piece of equipment or do anything else that would jeopardize a full recovery. It is amazing that they can do open heart surgery robotically and make it minimally invasive. He does not have to deal with the trauma and aftermath of having his chest cracked open (ouch)Just seven tiny incisions to heal...amazing!!!

We are so relieved to be ending such a scary chapter in our lives that began this past father's Day when Marc first fell ill, it has been a really rough few months but now we move on to a healthier and more productive next chapter.

There were many positives that came from that negative. There usually are if you just look for them. The first was that it reminds us that Marc and I have a very strong bond that perseveres during the good and the bad. That bond has been tested mightily over these past couple of years between illness and financial challenges and we always pull together and come out stronger and more secure. I am very thankful to have such a strong partner to share this life with.

We also have found that our family and friends are truly there for us when the going gets tough. The support has been unbelievable, both emotionally and with the huge outpouring of financial support coming out of the fundraiser that was sponsored by Marc's Professional Association. We have so many thank you's to deliver and we will do so as soon as possible.

Last but certainly not least, we are so thankful to our families for their support. Marc's Mom traveled with us to Atlanta to assist us with the DD while Marc was hospitalized and recuperating. My dad and sister came to Atlanta to lend their support during the surgery. My mom and Justin held the fort down and took care of things back here, so we did not have to worry at all, including taking care of our fur baby Gabby and our fish and frog :)

One sadness that remains is the loss of Marc's dad during this very difficult period of our life and the fact that he never had the opportunity to know that Marc had a successful outcome. He worried so much about this surgery and he ultimately lost his life due to complications of his diabetes; one of which was a bad mitral valve which ultimately caused heart failure..the same valve that Marc had repaired. Marc would have loved to have been able to share this happiness with his dad and he misses him very much every day.

The best tribute and honor to his dad and to all those that he loves, is for Marc to use this opportunity that he has been given to keep his body healthy and strong and not overdo it as he sometimes can. Believe me, that if I have anything to do with it (and I do) he will pace himself better.

Sounds cliche, but take each day and make it very special for those that you love and who love you. Remember the little things, they make all of the difference. I met a woman who's mom was in critical condition due to complications from the same bacteria that Marc fell ill to. She was not as fortunate as Marc and it was not diagnosed as quickly as Marc's was. When we left, she was on a ventilator, days after heart surgery of three valves and in addition was in kidney failure and on Dialysis. She was only five years older than Marc and her future is very much in question. Her only daughter was constantly at her bedside willing her to live and to come out of this but I fear if she does, the future will not be an easy one. That could have been my husband and we both know it. I am not going to waste one more minute of my life on anything that I do not find gratifying and worthwhile. It is a new day for me and my family and our new motto is Carpe Diem! Sieze the day! I hope that you do too!

With love and thankfulness,

Marc is out of the hospital

Just a short post to let all who are reading this know that Marc came through the heart surgery beautifully. He had one really bad day in the hospital post op with low blood pressure and very bad pain but that is behind him and yesterday he was released. We will see the Doctor tomorrow and hopefully he will release Marc by the end of the week to travel back home.

In the meantime, we are held up in very close quarters (Me, Marc, The DD and my MIL) and trying to find ways to keep the DD entertained. They have been awesome!

Here is a phone photo that I took just after Marc saw the children...so much happiness!! I will post once we get back home again.

Goodbye for now

We are heading out in the morning for two weeks to Atlanta to make sure that the man of my heart has his heart repaired. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers for a complete recovery and return to a healthy life. Thank you to our big kids for taking care of our home. I will blog again from the road.....

Love and Peace,

Our Princess has lost her Pirate Status

Awesome news!! Katie no longer has to wear her eye patch...AT ALL!! This is quite the development for our Starr, formerly known affectionately to us as the "Pirate Princess." When we went to the appointment we thought that today would be the day that the pediatric ophthalmologist would advise us to begin the weaning process by cutting the patching time in half, from eight to four hours a day but no...ZERO HOURS, zilch, nada, none!!! There was definitely a reason why the plan changed, but quite honestly, I was so overjoyed with the news that I had a hard time following the reasoning. It did not even matter that the doctor told us that the prescription in her glasses would need to be changed. You should have seen Katie. She started jumping up and down and yelling Yaaaaay!! Yaaaay!! No more patch!! Over and over again. All of the staff came running out to see the happy girl and congratulate her.

Several stickers later, we left the office and drove home to tell Daddy and Ethan the good news! We are so proud of Katie and we told her so. Her hard work paid off big time. The patching was so uncomfortable and many days she would quietly ask me if she could stop wearing it but when we told her that she must press forward, she always did without a fight.

There are no guarantees that she will not have a regression in the future and need to patch again but we feel confident that if she does, that she will just do what she needs to do.

For now though, we celebrate her victory and freedom from the patch!

I think I may need a sock intervention!

Today, while I was organizing the DD's sock drawer, it occurred to me that I may have a problem with acquiring a few too many socks for them. What do you think? Do I have a children's sock addiction?


Just for the record, the DD share a room and a sock drawer for now. As you can see, it is somewhat evenly divided between Ethan on the left and Katie Starr on the right. Of course, girls need more socks than boys!! The bags to the right side of the drawer is girl and boy socks that have been outgrown and I will Freecycle. The socks below the drawer are missing their mates somewhere within the deepest recesses of the dryer. At least that is my best guess.

They say that admitting the problem is the first step towards recovery, right?

Baby Girl!

No, not for us...for Katie.....sometime in the future. OK, let me elaborate before you all become completely unglued by my inflammatory sentence fragments!

On the way home from Preschool today, Katie asked me for the umpteenth time, this week alone, why we cannot have a baby sister. I once again explained that we were very happy with the three children that we have been blessed with and that there would be no more children. (actually, after our mischief man completed our family we reached our limit in all areas) We lovingly call him our "adoption stopper."

Of course, that did not really appease her, so I went on to explain that someday she would have her own baby if she wanted one. Katie was *OVERJOYED* with that little fact and proceeded to tell me what she was going to do with her VERY OWN baby!

"Mommy, I am going to dress her, feed her and give her a bottle."

"That is awesome Katie"

"You are going to have to change her diapers though, I am not going to do that!!"

At this point I was hysterically laughing, "Why do I have to change the diapers?!?"

Katie very seriously replied, "I am not going to deal with any accidents, you are going to have to do that Mommy!"

She then went on to tell me what she only wanted one baby girl and no other babies. She did not elaborate as to why she wanted an only child but since I am going to be dealing with the "accidents", I am pretty darn happy to hear it!

That girl is a smart one!

I need to wrap my guy in bubble wrap

Sounds like this is gonna be a little kinky but alas there is no kink involved here whatsoever....Drats!! OK, I digress but hey, like I said to my friend Monica, who I was speaking to earlier today, at least we have our humor!

Last evening, we were going to hang with a couple of friends that were in town visiting for the week. Marc went into the closet to pick out a pair of slacks, bent down to the bottom rack where he keeps them and ***BOINK!!*** he pokes his eye on a hanger and yells out in pain. He then yelled out to me that he hurt his eye...and he was in quite a bit of pain! We moved into fast forward as it was just 5:00 and we knew that the eye doctor's office would be closed soon, if it was not already. Marc called and left a message at the office and then put all of our plans on hold. Minutes later the Doctor called and said that if the pain was excruciating, then we should go to the emergency room and if not then she would see him at 7:30 am the next day. Marc's pain had subsided by this time and we made the decision that the ER was not the place that anyone in his physical condition wants to be, especially when he is this close to open heart surgery.

It all worked out fine...we waited, our friends came for their visit and then Marc went to the Doctor this morning. He did indeed have a corneal abrasion but it was already healing well and that nothing needed to be done...whew!! We were glad that he had it checked out and ruled out something worse. See what I mean about wrapping my man up in bubble wrap!!

I am really on a heightened state of worry when it comes to Marc. I find myself constantly monitoring his eating, fluid intake, sleeping and general well being. He is much more tired than he has ever been and I am basically counting the days until his surgery...there are 12 left to be exact.

Marc is my life, along with my children and I find myself tearing up quite a bit as I think of anything more serious happening to him. The death of his father almost three weeks ago has cast a sadness over him that I see every day, even though he does not show it to the outside world. I know him so well, really as well as I know myself. His sadness is revealed when we speak of Big Al, when we are doing something relaxing like watching TV and I see him staring into space, when he sleeps and I can hear it in his dreams and feel it in his restlessness.

Oh, I just want to protect him from anymore hurt, pain or sadness and please oh please, put this phase behind us, once and for all.

Body Talk with the DD

After getting out of the pool this morning, I showered the DD and then I showered. When I got out of the shower the two of them were waiting for me.

Katie: "Wow Mommy, your boobies are really wobbly!"

Me: "Thanks honey!" *SNORT* I don't remember Justin saying that, but of course it was over 20 years ago!

Ethan: "Yeah, they are wobbly!" as he laughs hysterically!

Well, these wobbly boobies of mine really can't be too bad because the next thing I heard was...

Katie: "Well, I sure don't want a Penis but I want boobies just like yours!...When am I going to get them?"

Me: "Not for a long time honey, you have to be a really big girl to get them."

She looked really disappointed to hear that news and I was really happy to hear that as wobbly as my boobies seem to be, that she still wants them.

Thanks Katie Starr, you made your old Mama's day!

It was just a matter of time...

before the mischief man got put onto red in Preschool. Green is color for good behavior, yellow is caution and red is BAD. He skipped yellow entirely and went right to RED. I don't have the full story but the gist of it was that today during a rain storm, the teacher told all of the children to stay put under a protective covering until they could get back to the classroom. Evidently, Ethan decided that he wanted to venture out into the rain. The teacher warned him several times not to venture out as she could tell he was heading that way. Well, he did anyway and got soaked at school....not good :( She was not happy with him at all! The teacher keeps a communication folder for us that she writes in every day as to his daily activities and whether there were issues or not. Ethan will usually tell me as he gets off the bus and before I can open the folder if there was an issue, which usually has to do with his eating. This time, he said nothing and when I asked him about it he looked sad to tell me that he was on RED. I reinforced Miss Mary's position and placed him in an additional 4 minute (one minute for each year of his age) time out. I am all about reinforcing the teacher.

I hate to say it but I have been quite surprised that E has not been put onto RED before. Miss Mary has up to now, not really witnessed much of the Ethan that we know and love; the one that pushes the limits A LOT and usually looking at you full in the face with a smirk while he is doing it. Hopefully, this is the last that she will see this year of our adorable little son that has the angelic smile and the horns growing out of his head. Boy oh boy!