Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Emotions are high!

Tomorrow, Katie has the test that will finally give us some answers about her eyes. Hopefully the answer will not be one of a diagnosis that will rob her of her sight. I have prepared myself though...I am not going into this with a less than prepared mind. The first few days after her Pediatric Ophthalmologist was concerned enough to order this test were ones of sadness and anxiety for me and Marc. After lots of "what ifs" we decided that the only thing to do was to put it aside for the month and let the time pass without the constant conjecture. During these last weeks I have made peace in many ways with my deepest fears. If Katie does indeed have Retinitis Pigmentosa or a similar affliction, we will do everything in our power to make sure she has the best chance possible to keep her sight for as long as humanly possible. I am just going to be grateful in the knowledge that even though it CAN be a tragedy to lose one's sight, it will NOT be one for our Katie. She is a strong and resilient child with a great mind. I marvel at her mind every day and I know that if one of her senses is fading or lost, then her mind will be strong enough to help her to accommodate that loss. We know that she can live a full life no matter what.

I am certainly not saying that I am resigning myself in advance to such a diagnosis. I am simply going to utilize the "glass is half full" way of thinking. There is really no other choice is there?

Today, we went down to the hospital for all of the pre-procedure testing and consults. I am feeling loads of anxiety but my anxiety right now has to do more with our child undergoing general anesthesia. I am doing my best to get in the same positive space about this but hey, I am a work in progress and right now I am not struggling a bit.

I will share the news as soon as I have any. Love to all of you that are still keeping her in your thoughts and prayers. It truly means the world to us.



Vivian M said...

Lori, your strength is amazing. You have all our support, positive thoughts and prayers headed towards Katie and you, Marc, and Ethan as well.

Amber V said...

Sending positive thoughts and big hugs for your family!!!

Gail said...

Your grace through all of this is incredible, Lori. I'd expect no less of you. Hoping you get good answers tomorrow!

I'm praying for Katie, you, Marc and family!



Kate said...


I will be praying for you all tomorrow. You are holding up and holding it together and doing what you need to be doing now. Your outlook is admirable and your determination steadfast. Your daughter WILL be okay no matter what because she has you to lead her and show her the way.

Best wishes...


Carol and Taylor said...

We will keep sweet Katie and all of you in our thoughts and prayers. T and I will be at BascP tomorrow as well for an oh my. We will be keeping Katie and your whole family in our thoughts and prayers. We too will be at BascP tomorrow for a follow up ENT appt at 400 pm on 3rd floor. Long sordid story detailed on my blog, but I got good news. Worst week of my life.

I now well know how hard it is to live with the possibility that something Serious might be wrong with my child. Hang tough. We are praying for good news for you as well.


Carol and Taylor

Carol and Taylor said...

Not sure why my last comment is so screwy. Must be the iPhone.

M3 said...

Oh man, Lori... Sending you HUGE good thoughts and big hugs and please know that you have folks near and far thinking about you guys tomorrow.

Donna said...

Our hopes, thoughts, prayers and good wishes are all being sent your way! I think about you guys often!


Our Blog: Double Happiness!

Teresa said...

Yep. Anesthesia is scary. When Caroline had her tonsils out, I was more afraid of the anesthesia than the surgery itself. I call that NORMAL!
Praying for a good outcome for little Katie and kudos to you for keeping a positive mindset, no matter what the diagnosis.

Kelley said...

"I am simply going to utilize the "glass is half full" way of thinking. There is really no other choice is there?"

You know, Lori, those statements are very indicitive of your positive outlook on life, and your fantastic parenting. Yes, there is certainly another choice...the choice to look at the glass as half empty. But your love for your daughter, and your desire for her to be able to cope...no matter what...is what will get you all through this. Stay strong, and know that I will be thinking of you, and praying for you all!


Diana said...

I am pretty much at a loss of what to say other then you are all on our thoughts and prayers. I have been wondering when the test was. Knowing what lies ahead is 1/2 the battle. You are a strong women and Katie is a amazing little girl!! Hugs to ALL of you.

We5Chois said...

Holding you close and hoping for an easy time at the appointment. Most of all we are hoping for good news for the long term.

Katie is a trooper and no matter what, she has an incredible family who will support her on the road to maturity.

Love you guys,

Julie said...

One more day to wait, we will be hoping and praying for the best news for our favorite Starr!

Candy said...

Thinking of you and your family, especially Katie at this time. I'm looking forward to hearing good news. I'm here if you need me, no matter what.

Lesa said...

Lori, I sure admire the strength you have. I will be praying that all will be well for Katie.

Thinking of you all.

Lori Lynn said...

OMG. And here I was trying to feel sorry for myself and my baby girl who broke two bones in her arm yesterday. It was such a horrible day, but I knew that this would pass and it would eventually be all better.

I hope by some amazing chance that that will be the case for you as well. I cannot imagine losing my sight. I think it is my favorite sense. I wish you and your baby all the best.