This is the question that I ask myself every time I see a family that looks similar to ours (Caucasian parents with an Asian child) and I want to reach out to that family. Should I discreetly inquire about their child or not? I would never approach a parent in front of a child who was old enough to understand me but if they are away from the child or the child is a baby, I usually try to provoke some conversation. I have a couple of motives for making the connection. The first one is that I am the founder of the local FCC chapter in South Florida and I like to share the fact that we have this amazing support system in place, in case they may be interested. The second motive is purely selfish. I just want to reach out to another family that was formed in a similar fashion to mine...period.
Marc and I always joke that there should be a secret hand sign that us China adoptive mamas can use...a secret sign that only we know, so we can make a connection if both parties are willing! I know...seems a bit weird but quite honestly, it would have helped today so that I could have avoided making a total ass out of myself with a CAM (China Adopt Mama). This CAM was nearby as Marc and I were having a child free day at the beach. She was by the ocean with her daughter when Marc saw her and joked to me once again, we needed a signal. I watched her and her adorable daughter and wondered if she was from South Florida or was a tourist. They played for a few minutes and then the mom left her daughter's side and walked towards me....it was my chance!!
As she strolled by where we were sitting and was not in ear shot of her daughter, I said hello to her and asked her if her daughter was from China. She nodded yes and then I told her that we have two children who were born in China. She then averted her eyes from mine, turned and quickly walked away from me. For whatever her reasons were, she was not at all interested in discussing the common denominator between us.
Personally, I just don't get it because I am super open and would never handle it the way that she did. My kids have known that they were from China long before they could even understand the meaning of the words and they are very comfortable with that fact. I am not sure if she is not discussing this very obvious fact with her daughter yet, even though she seemed to be about the same age as my kiddos, or she just did not like the fact that a stranger approached her about her family.
I totally respect whatever the reasons were. We are all different and I respect those differences but sheesh...talk about AWKWARD.....I totally needed that secret signal today!!
Anyone up for making up a CAM signal?