Saturday, May 23, 2009

Mama said there would be days like this

I obviously have never been good at listening to my mother or my husband or my son..yada, yada, yada. They all told me that there would be such days and of course I knew it as well but hell sometimes, it is just too mind numbing to bear. Being a mother to three, two of which are preschoolers and virtual twins as I enter into a new phase of my life....well, it just ain't pretty....if you get my drift!

I love, adore and cherish our "Dynamic Duo", as I like to call them but sometimes I really could use a break. Today, for example....we had our weekly Chinese Class, which has been moved to our home as we have not been able to get enough interest in our FCC Group to keep it at our local Chinese Cultural Center (not cost effective enough for them) and of course, two of the five children attending the class are mine. Now, the good thing about having it at our home is that it helps my VERY shy Katie come out of her shell and fully participate in the class. On the other hand, my quite "over the top" and definitely "not shy" Ethan is even more crazed than normal, if that can be believed. There was not much listening going on and that was totally on my last nerve today. At the end of the class, while I was trying to speak to the teacher, I had Ethan trying to get her attention by saying "excuse me" over and over, even though we both told him to wait until we finished speaking, while Katie was creating a melee next to us because she refused to share one of her toys with the other children. Yes, that brings us to the subject of sharing which has become quite an issue due to the fact that Ethan covets everything that Katie has. I think that both kids need to have a few of their own things but the E man does not subscribe to that theory, so he follows her around saying that Katie is being "mean" to him. On the other hand, you have Katie who feels that Ethan should always comply with her every request to interact with her or it is "Ethan is ignoring me!"

The DD have really been quite the handful lately. They are always in competition for our attention and I feel that I would truly like to change my name and sequester myself in the PPP (Preschool Protection Program) There is no way though that Marc wouldn't track me down like a dirty dog and bring me back. Why should he have to face the constant call for mom, MOM, MOMMY as well as DADDY all alone? Oh yes, it is just a tad overwhelming! Of course, the always right on cue, "Sorry Mom" repeated hourly by the mischief man, who literally is not really that sorry at all but loves to hear himself saying it, is also quite dulling to the senses. The fact that he always carries a spare tear in the corner of his eye for effect is also hugely compelling. To be honest, it is really not quite as compelling to us as it obviously is to others who do not know his shtick. With everyone else, the sympathy factor ALWAYS wins him points. Add this to the daily routine of life with little children and I said, I could really use a break. I am sure the hubs could as well. I know, all of this sounds quite bitchy and even a bit whiny but that is how I am feeling lately. I am sure it will pass. I am sure that at any moment they will do something so utterly fabulous that it will merit a blog post or a facebook update and then life will feel blissful once again. There are in fact many such moments, thank goodness! I sure hope one of those moments comes quickly. I really hate to think of asking for that space in the PPP.


Minouche said...

Dear Lori,

Sorry I didn't realize you were so stressed today. I think you're a GREAT mom, and I am always amazed by all the things you can balance at the same time in you life!

It is understandable that some days will feel like you're describing in your post. I can't even imagine what it is like to have virtual twins, and I am sure you're doing your best.

Please give yourself a break, breathe deeply, and tomorrow will be another day. I wish we could go to a Mom's Week Out in Arizona to that wonderful spa I always dream about! ;O)) *wink* wink*

If you need a break, please don't hesitate to call me and it will be my pleasure to have one of the kids over. I am SURE Yasmin would LOVE it! :O)

Huge hugs, sweet friend!


Candy said...

I'm so sorry you are so stressed. Since I only have one to deal with, and have only had one prior, I really don't know how difficult it is to have two together. I do know that one can be overwhelming at times, so I can just imagine what having two would be like, especially at the same age. Rachel is a good girl, but when she's bad, she's really bad. I can honestly say that we don't have too many of those bad one, but when we do, it's just awful.

If I can assist at all, please don't hesitate to ask. That's what friends are for.

I know when we're at home Rachel always wants my attention. She's getting better at playing by herself though. It's so much easier for me when we're out and about. That's why I'm hoping to find something to do over summer break to keep us busy.

Again, call if you need anything.

Teresa said...

I posted on FB one time that I wondered how much boarding school costs after a very difficult day with my two. I got quite a few responses with requests to find out and arranging volume discounts. You are not alone, my friend. Not alone at all! We definitely have our days where we want to pack it in and resign our posts.

Dawn said...

That's my girl, keeping it real.

We all have those days and if you join the PPP I am sure there will be many more who deep down inside would be jealous. :)

I'm not close enough to help but I can always lend an ear...of course the fact that you changed your number and didn't give me the new one doesn't help. LOL

I would say the sun will come out tomorrow but I just checked the forecast and well we do live in SF and it is the rainy season but it will.
love you.

Jen@KerrnalJournal said...

Awwww, least you've still got a sense of humor about it. I have been overwhelmed at times by life with 3 lately. Viv literally never stops talking until she passes out at night (no naps here) When the older 2 get home from school, sometimes I hide in the bathroom for 10 minutes just to have some peace, LOL.....Gosh, did I just admit that????

I know we will both miss it when the chaos slows down! Well, a little, anyway... :o)

Hang in there Lori, you've got a lot of good company in the trenches!!

tumbleintodreams said...

As Cami would say, "you need a home day"..... and besides that.... you are scaring me a little! I'm sure I don't have half your energy, so I don;t know how I"ll handle my own duo. sherri

Tammie said...


I have said it before, & I'll say it again. You are an amazing person. It's hard to remember that "mom" is only one of our many nicknames. And of course, "dad" is only one of our guys' nicknames.

There are days when each of us needs that time off. Please let me know if I can help. I really did mean it when I told you I'd take Ethan for you when you're having the Chinese class at your house.

I hope today is less stressful. Hugs!

Vivian M said...

I have been looking for the PPP for ages but I think they are in hiding because there are just too many overwhelmed Moms out there!
I wish I was closer so I could help out. Even if just to watch them for a few hours so you can regroup and recharge. When it gets like that, find someone to provide some respite care and go take a walk, swim, nap, drive...whatever!
I only have one, and I don't know how parents manage with more than one kid. Especially since Kerri is such a handful. When you add all the additional stresses (you are a working Mom to boot!), it is only understandable that there will be "days like this". You are not alone, and we hear you!

M3 said...

Oh I've had days like that. SO dang many days! Sending huge hugs of empathy. You are an awesome mom!

On the sharing thing, have you tried using a Sharpie marker to mark some of the toys with an exclusive K or E? Our girls grudgingly know it's the LAW that they don't touch the other girl's marked items. They still try, but the death stare from me or a time-out (or five or six) for scoffing at the law at least ends the screams of outrage. For the shared stuff, we use the two-minutes-each rule and their attention spans usually don't last beyond one turn swap. You've probably already tried all of these things or even way better things and it's just useless in the face of two kiddos who are the same age, I know. Bleh. More hugs!!

Carol and Taylor said...

Yeah, I think having to deal with the drama and trauma of the DD's sibling relationship makes things exponentially harder. I see it with my friend's kids all the time, and thank god I just have one.

Before china banned singles, I had a pipe dream of getting #2. I am SO GLAD that door slammed shut on me. Maybe if I had a husband it would be do-able. As a single mom, no way.

As it is, as much as I love my daughter, I can actually feel the stress lifting from my shoulders as I walk out of daycare on Monday mornings, to join the adult world and change hats from "mom" to "adult". Its bliss.

Hang in there. This too shall pass...only to come again...but then pass again...etc...etc...

May I suggest a medicinal Margarita?

Your sister in arms,

Carol J

Colleen said...

I'm sorry you are so stressed out!! I have many days like this. It's good to take a break even if it's to the mall by yourself for an hour : ) {{{hug}}}

SamanthaR said...

Mama said there would be days like this, because she was able to muddle through them. I know that you will too, as well as all the rest of us who feel this way but are too quiet about saying so. Hang in there and look for that bright moment coming around the corner.
Samantha in MN

Love Letters To China said...

I'm definitely feeling your pain!! I feel this way most days. I thought since there is a 4 year difference between my two it would be a little easier. Well I couldn't be any more wrong. Some days I just want to crawl into a cave all by myself and hibernate for a few a week. I'm getting a bit frightened about summer vacation starting in a week.

It would be great to get together more often. Maybe our kids could get to know each other and establish a friendship just like we have.

I wish you saner days... ;) BIG HUG!

Bobbi Jo said...

Oh my, Lori!! Is this a blog post about my dynamic duo?? Sounds SO similar...I know the feeling! Hopefully you've had better days since. The good ones seem to erase the pain of those toughies!! xoxo